Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize