i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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