Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize