And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
