Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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