Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
