So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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