Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize