It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
