you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just pee around me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
