yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
