im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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