I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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