the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize