quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
