Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
