And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
