Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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