lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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