he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
