You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
