all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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