I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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