you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
