Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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