Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
