I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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