I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
