he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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