i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
