I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
