Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
