'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
