My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
