Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
