I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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