i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
