We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
