I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
