summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
