Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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