I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
