I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
