I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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