Sponge bath it is.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
