I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
