Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
