At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
