whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
