I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
