Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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