32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
