And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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