Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
