I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
MIDGETS
????
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
