booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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