It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
