I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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