Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize