I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
how drunk are you?
Several
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
