I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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